Reflections on 2017 and Resolutions for 2018

Yes, I'm one of those. I actually followed through with my New Year's resolution for 2017. I promised myself at the beginning of the year, is what I gave myself at the end of the year, which I think is something to be proud of.

My resolution was three fold, because not only am I pretentious, I can't just make a simple resolution. It has to have meaning! But I digress. My resolution did mean many things to me this year, so it's especially meaningful that I met it.

First Fold

At the shallow end of my resolution, I wanted to lose weight. Doctors told me I needed too, and that Diabetes is managed better with less weight. I knew all of that for years. However, I was sick of being overweight and whereas my husband continued to lose weight (100 pounds since 2011!! How fantastic is that?!), I just slowly continued to gain. My pants "shrunk" in the washer. Vanity sizing convinced me I was still a medium and I was in denial when my pant size increase as well as my shirt size. After seeing some less than flattering pictures of myself (it's easy to be in denial of weight gain when you just look in the mirror), I resolved I needed to cut the crap (the food and the denial).

Second Fold

In the middle of my resolution, I wanted to be healthier. I've read think pieces on having HIV was better than Diabetes, and I wanted to live, or give myself a fighting chance, on living a good, long, quality life. I didn't want to endure the side effects of Diabetes just because I liked food a bit too much and I was getting lazier and lazier. I was sick of being tired all the time, and my limbs had started to hurt (!!) because of just lounging around all the time. Even though I like my job, I sit for most of the day, and there has been substantial studies on why sitting most of the time is terrible for you. I wanted to change that.

Third Fold

And finally, the deep end of my resolution had nothing at all to do with weight, or physical health. It had to do with mental health. I resolved to say what I mean, and mean what I say, and know the value in my time, to put myself first, be more confident and above all, trust myself.

Writing that out sounds like a teenage girl's mantra, right? She got bullied a bit and she writes that in her diary, trying to boost her moral to get through the rest of her junior year of high school. But it was mine, and I was going to follow it.

The reasons I made it my resolution this year, and to become part of who I am are complex and long winded. My early twenties were entwined with someone that in retrospect I had no future with (hindsight is 20/20) and too late did I recognize the signs of an emotionally abusive relationship. My middle and late twenties were riddled with actions I'd taken because I thought it was something I was supposed to do, not because I really wanted to do. Much of that was professional - I was told that I couldn't get a job unless it was in education, or another field that was in demand. I had the misconception that everyone knew much more than I did and I should shut up and do what they said (laughable to anyone that knows me, but professionally, this was true!).

In graduate school, I met my husband, so naturally some of my actions worked out for the best. ;-) But most of those actions I took because I thought I didn't "know any better" and surely other people knew what they were talking about more than me, but what I realized is that a) everyone is going through life for the first time, and even though people have experience, they aren't the end all be all of all decisions and b) at the end of the day, you have to live with those decisions, and if you aren't happy, it isn't worth it. You only have one life to live, and it shouldn't be spent being miserable.
 

How did I do this year? 

I did lose weight. 25 pounds (!!11) to be exact and my diabetes is now more controlled than ever before. I started off slowly, going to the gym three times a week, and in March, I started going to the gym every day, with walking to the Library on Saturdays (20 minutes up and 20 minutes back). In April, I started logging what I ate, followed CICO (Calories in, Calories out) and weighed myself weekly (at the same time on the same day). I still have a bit to lose, but I feel better, use less insulin, and my doctor's appointments are far less stressful. There were a lot of hiccups along the way, and I'm not perfect. I have a cheat day, and there are times, like the holidays, where I overeat and I feel awful afterwards. But you pick yourself up and you continue on, and you don't let mistakes get in the way of your health.

CICO is the biggest change in how I looked a food and weight. Anyone that says that calories don't matter and that exercise is the solution are wrong. Seriously! If you are struggling to lose weight and you don't know why, buy a cheap scale off of amazon, and measure using Myfitnesspal or Fitbit app and seriously measure serving sizes. You'll be amazed - I was. There are unhealthy snacks that are very calorie dense, but also, things that are "healthy" are also calorie dense (oatmeal, and almonds for instance). Be aware of oil, butter and other cooking condiments. I limit caloric intake, and ignore Myfitnesspal recommendation of 1200 calories a day (I do 1550 calories right now). There are websites that can calculate your height, weight, and how active you are during the day and can help you calculate.  Stick with it, it's worth it.

It also helped that my husband unflinchingly followed along with whatever I wanted to do. We got on a meal plan, ate more veggies, and our cheat day usually meant cooking at home something we wouldn't normally eat. It's absolutely true that it's harder to lose weight when your partner isn't on board, and I'm so grateful he still is. 

My "deep end" resolution will probably be ongoing. I still struggle with it, but I committed on following through. I had to make hard decisions this year professionally and personally. Professionally, I went back to school, which is less of a hard decision but more of a continued commitment. I finished my certificate for website design, and now I'm deciding if I want to continue, and what I want to continue in. Personally, I've had to cut ties with a few toxic friendships this year, and I had to start standing up for myself with family and friends. It's hard because though I like to think I march to the beat of my own drum, I am a people-pleaser, and I want everyone to like me, but that's simply impossible.

I turned from a door mat, to someone that just distanced myself because I didn't want to confront anyone. However, the first action is unfair to me, and the second was unfair to the other person. Its hard to know when to confront or to let it lie, and it's something I'm still working on now.

What do I want 2018 to look like?

What is noticeably absent in my reflection is the political atmosphere of 2017, and I think part of my resolutions for 2017 was to focus on myself to give myself some semblance of control where I felt lost every time I listened to the news. I am extremely blessed to live in a state where the state's attorney has filed numerous lawsuits against the federal government, and that our representatives, though in the minority, do not succumb to lobbyists and toxic donations. However, there is still more work to be done.

So for 2018, I want to give more of my attention to actually supporting what I think is right and opposing the GOP and their evil antics. I'm not sure how that is going to look, but I'm sure it's going to involve time and money, and actually talking about topics with those who oppose my viewpoint, instead of shouting into the echo chamber that is social media. We have a lot of work to do to take this country back and turn it into a somewhat decent place.

I also want to write more, and get back into my blog. I kept reading this year, I never stopped but the reviews were lacking, and even if a few people read them, they are a good way to keep the mind active and to constantly improve my writing. I read a ton of books with no intention of stopping, so why not review them again?

Finally, I'm going to let you all in another another secret of mine: I've been writing a book. I started last year with an ex-friend, and I'm continuing the project solo. It's frankly awful, but I want to finish it, and then revise and edit it throughout 2018 to make it completely mine. I only have about 6 chapters left and it would be a wonderful gift to myself if I turned it into something I was proud of.

I'm not going to stop working out, or standing up for myself, but now I think it's the year to focus on personal projects as well as continue the effort in opposing the Trump Administration.

How did your resolutions go this year? What do you want to focus on for next year? How will you meet your goals?

The Nerve-wrecking Thing About Choosing Your End of the Year Top Books...

I've never been the one to recount or accumulate yearly memories for the end of the year celebration. Maybe it's because it's easier, at least for me, to see the bad than the good, and I end up getting depressed on what went wrong for me, my friends and my family. Cynical and Negative? Absolutely. So I learned very quickly that there wasn't a major pay off and any sort of resolution I made for myself in the start of the New Year also bombed incredibly. Therefore, instead of waiting for the New Year to start thinking positive and doing better for myself, I just try to actively to do it during the year, with varying degrees of success.

Josh, however, does the opposite and does it in a more light hearted way. When he and I started dating, he posts his top 10s on facebook. Top 10 movies, top 10 albums, top 10 shows. I read what he wrote and he and I would talk about. He would ask me what my top 10s were, and I would... avoid the subject.

Choosing your top 10 seemed intimidating even though there aren't any stakes involved and no one will be hurt if you don't rank your favorite things in order from least favorite to most favorite. So, this year, I decided that I would rank my top 10 books and top 5 movie/show adaptations that I liked. I told my husband, who so very dearly wanted to talk with me about them... and promptly made me want to not do it.

It's not his fault at all. However, when he brings up individual episodes of shows that you and he both watched together as an adaptation (that you had no idea it was an adaptation or you haven't read the book/comic of that show yet) and you don't really remember watching the episode all that much, you feel intimidated. I found myself questioning where my memory has gone, where can I find it and how I can get it back, if he's so in tune to certain episodes and I barely remember what we watched last week.

Initially, I was going to avoid doing it at all. I'll start anew next year and then by the end of 2016, I'll be prepared. However, we all know how that goes. Why would this resolution turn out any differently?

When I talked to my friends, they suggested starting somewhere a bit less overwhelming, like a top 5 book, or as my friend Ashley suggested, and she does know me very well, books that I disliked this year. I think it's good practice for my future "Top 10s" posts.

Stay tuned for which books I thought were noteworthy!

Which is Better? Silence of the Lambs

It was incredibly hard to review the book without also reviewing the movie, but I think I succeeded! Nevertheless, now it's on to see which is better, the book by Thomas Harris or the movie, that won a few oscars, including best picture.

Confession time: I watched the movie before I read the book (I've been doing that a lot lately....) but honestly, now that I've been a teacher and worked with students who have reading challenges, unless the adaptation blows (which sometimes it does), I don't think watching the movie before reading the book is a bad thing. Now, I think sometimes people don't want to read the book after they watch the movie because they've seen the movie so there is no point in reading the book which is bad! Unless the book blows (and sometimes it does), read the book too! 

Ok, now back to the Silence of the Lambs movie. First of all, I watched the show Hannibal with Mads Mikkelsen. I loved the casting for that show because Mads Mikkelsen has an other wordly persona and look to him. I knew he was a serial killer before it was revealed in the show (most audience members did), but he gave off that vibe that he was different from the others. That he was wearing a "person suit." Anthony Hopkins was a very different direction but I equally liked him. He's a great actor, and Anthony Hopkins' Hannibal is terrifying in a different way. He sort of looks like a Dad, or a therapist. He seems to blend in and melt away into the crowds, whereas Mads definitely stands out. No wonder so many people died with Hopkins as Hannibal. Eventually, I will go into what went wrong with the other movies and the show, but for now, Silence of Lambs deserves every one of those Oscars. 

Jody Foster as Clarice Starling is magnificent, but of course she's awesome. That's what makes her Jody Foster. She's understated, gritty and determined to prove herself. She brings more life to the character and even though I try to separate myself from the movies when I read, all I could think about when I was reading was her as Clarice Starling. 

What I liked about both Hopkins and Foster is that they brought more life to the story than the book itself. Not only was it acted well, the script and the direction of the movie makes it a masterpiece. The reveal of Buffalo Bill, the downfall of Chilton (who, to Harris' credit, creeped me out MORE in the book) and the cinematography just brings the story of Hannibal and Clarice together. Whereas the book does a lot of tell, instead of show, the movie does a great job of doing both showing and telling. They interject information into dialogue that the audience needs to know, but doesn't do it overtly where it makes me want to roll my eyes. 

It's very clear to why Silence of the Lambs Oscars. When I was telling a few friends that I watched Silence of the Lambs for the first time and then read the book, they all agreed that the movie was better than the book, and they also commented that type of film wouldn't have been nominated for an Oscar today. I'm not a huge film buff. I like movies and I have some knowledge of them, but I don't actively follow them or care about awards season. However, I can see how they could make the statement that Silence of the Lambs wouldn't have made a big dent in Oscar season. That type of movie now and days don't really get nominated for Oscars. 

Keep an eye out for the rest of my reviews on the Hannibal series and the movies. I did watch all the movies (besides for Manhunter) before reading the books for "Shock-tober." My husband states that the books get progressively worse as the series goes on, but that is to be determined! Stay tuned! Comment below if you disagree with my review of the movie or my opinion of the book! 

Silence of the Lambs by Thomas Harris

So, confession time. When I was growing up, I was terrified to watch Silence of the Lambs. I thought the poster looked terrifying, and I imagined that Hannibal Lector eating people in the most gruesome way. I had, (and still have) a very vivid imagination, especially when it comes to horror movies. Ghost movies? Haunted Houses movies? Totally out. Zombie movies? Dawn of the Dead terrified me for the longest time. The Ring? The Grudge? I can't even do it. Torture movies? SAW is seared into my brain forever.

Interestingly enough, my husband LOVES scary movies. He was a film major before switching to English (therefore, going into teaching) and took a class on scary movies. He enjoys watching them, but we never embarked on watching them together. 

Fast forward to this year. He and I both LOVE Halloween, and he has taken to call this month, "Shock-tober" (I know... you wonder how I snagged such a man). We also discussed what Halloween-y things we could do this month (that you know, don't cost a lot of money) and he suggested a few scary movies. 

And guys... I wasn't immediately, "Hell to the naw!" about it. I thought for a few seconds, and I realized that I should watch more scary movies. I'm older now, experienced more life and I'm not scared out of my mind so much anymore. So we discussed a few movies to watch, and the topic of Silence of the Lambs came up. Now, he and I watched the show together, and he stated that the movie wasn't completely scary and more of a thriller. He also suggested that I do a "Which is Better?" posts about all the movies and the books along with the show. That's what I'm going to do now! First I will review the books, and then the "Which is Better?" post will come out next for each book and each movie. 

After watching the movie, I went ahead and read the book. It's going to be really hard to not review the movie with the book, because well, the movie follows the book with a few minor absences that weren't really needed in the movie. It opens up to Clarice running through the FBI training grounds when she gets a notice to go see Jack Crawford. They begin discussing Buffalo Bill and Hannibal Lector, with Jack sending Clarice to go see Hannibal because he feels like she can get something out of him. Finally, Jack warns Clarice to not give up any personal information because Hannibal likes to amuse himself. A lesson that Jack learned with Will Graham. 

Harris' style of writing is very straightforward. He's a mystery and crime novelist and his mode of writing is very direct and to the point. At some points, especially during action scenes, I felt as if I was watching the fight happen, instead of experiencing it. When intense dialogue and conversations taking place, especially with Clarice and other characters, I felt like I wasn't experiencing her discovery and realizations. I was just sort of reading about it. Finally, I thought that some of Harris' descriptive language was a bit odd. There was one part of the story where he describes a female character who puts her hand on her vagina to hide while in the well. I can't speak for other women who are scared, but I felt as if Harris was sexualizing her? Why point out that she covered her vagina? I'm not sure what the purpose of that was. 

Harris also switches between perspectives jarringly and sometimes I would have to reread in order to figure out that the inner monologue of characters switched. I don't mind experiencing a shift in perspectives, but the transition wasn't smooth. 

Finally, even though I'm not a fan of crime novels, I thought it was an enjoyable read. After watching the show, I liked reading the novel that began it all. 

My husband's favorite book, which is my next book in the series (after I take a break from Hannibal Lector), is Red Dragon. He thinks that it's the best book of the series and even better than Silence of the Lambs. 

What do you all think? Stay tuned for Which is Better? Coming out in a few weeks! 

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When to Make the Decision to Stop Reading a Book

So, my book stack is dutifully in my bedroom. I picked them out when I was moving and committed myself to reading them when I moved. After all, why spend money on books when I had many that I had not read yet? A major theme of this blog is to pick up books for a discounted price or for free. Certainly I should read the books in my house first.

I read a few historical fiction and fiction books this summer, which is a step away from the science fiction and fantasy that I go after. I enjoyed the fiction books I read, so why not take another chance? I was about to embark on a social studies position at my new school: I had a duty to be informed, even if it was to teach 6th graders.

The World is Flat by Thomas L. Friedman. My mother gave me this book lord knows how many years ago. She encouraged me to read it. "It's very good," she commented. "He makes great connections and says it in a way that makes sense." She also concluded that I would be interested in the topic, since I about to start college as a political science major. I just put it on my shelf, committing to myself that I would read it... eventually.

A few weeks ago, I finally did. I dusted off the hardback book, and began reading it.

I got to 50 pages before I put it down again.

I'm not going to write off Mr. Friedman. He's brilliant, drawing conclusions between our ever changing economy and the way we live, but the major problem with presenting theories about our economy, the way we live and technology, is that the technology used to draw those conclusions are defunct 10 years later. This book was written in 2005. It's now 2015, and many of the emerging business models are either common place or collapsed all together. With the housing bubble and the dot.com bust, the book is not necessarily ground breaking as it once was. It's almost like a history lesson.

I also realized a few things about my reading preferences. Reading nonfiction books before bedtime is probably not something I would do again. Whereas I tore through Little Altars Everywhere, I crawled through The World is Flat. Now, it's probably the way you're supposed to read it, but for someone that reads to relax, The World is Flat is not a relaxing book.

Sorry, Thomas Friedman. If I ever get my hands on your newest book, I'll give you another try.

I went back to my book stack. What should I try next? I had a few Virginia Woolf books. BAE adamantly concluded that I would like her, so I decided to try "A Room of One's Own." I remember Nicole Kidman playing her in a movie a few years ago (she donned the fake nose, so she must be a serious actress), so I thought I would give it a try.

I got to 15 pages before I put it down.

The introduction warns the reader that it's like an extended essay. Though I felt like she and I were talking and walking about the state of women, it felt like I was at a lecture. A lecture that I was not allowed to comment or question.

Like Friedman, I am not going to write Woolf off. The only author I would ever write off is Thomas Hardy with Tess D'Urbervilles (never again). I do have another book by her, which seems to be a fiction novel. I will give her another try later.

However, making the decision to stop reading 2 books consecutively when I normally stick to books the entire way through made me think of when we should stop reading books. In both of these cases, they didn't serve my purpose. I read to relax before bed. I read so I can escape and go to far off places and read about other people's lives. Both of these books did not do that.

Now sometimes I will finish a book just to give it a scathing review, but it wasn't like I hate either of these books. They were fine books written by brilliant people. I think at the end of the day, my taste in books skew to the light side.

I would like to turn the question over to you: When do you make the decision to stop reading a book? Why?

Moving and the Current Book Stack

So, Bae and I are in the process of buying a house! Yay!  Along with everything else (paperwork, inspections, etc.) we also have to pack (boo, hiss). As a self diagnosing hoarder (I'm not really, but you never know when you need something), moving is a good thing for me. I get to go through my stuff and envision myself moving it. If it's worth the moving part, it stays. If not, then it definitely goes.

Which brings me to books. When I was younger, I dreamt about having a library. The library in Disney's Beauty and The Beast? Yeah, I definitely didn't care for the love story. I wanted those BOOKS! When I lived at home, I started collecting books, because well, I wanted to start my own library! This proved to be a terrible idea when I moved out, because I had to actually move all of those books. In those 6 years, I've had to move 5 times; almost every single year since I moved out.

Things have definitely been donated, trashed and given away. As BAE and I stare down the prospect of moving into a permanent home (5 years, anyway) with the idea of adult things like nicer furniture and durable picture frames, we're going to have to be ruthless about what we choose to get rid of versus what we keep.

And that includes books.

BAE is an English teacher, and we have so many doubles of the same books. As I was going through my books today, I realized that there were 2 copies of Schindler's List. I knew about Corrections and Catch-22, but Schindler's List was news to me. So, that's an issue.

Before going to the gym, I perused my shelves to donate books to goodwill. Some of them were easy; older books, books I didn't really enjoy and books that were given to me by people I rather not remember. However, embarrassingly enough, I stumbled across MANY books that I actually bought but never read. Some of them I simply stuck on my shelf and forgot about, and others.... I think there was a point in my life where I bought books because I thought I should buy them... and it would make me look smart to have them on my shelf.

I apologize to anyone and everyone that ever helped me move. You moved books that I bought that I thought made me look smart.

So, I have about a month before I move. There are definitely books I know I will read. However, those books that I completely forgot about and never read, I plucked them off my shelf and put them in my book stack. I bought them, so I am GOING to read them.

Look at that enormous stack of books. That is such a weird mix of books. I have some history, some manga (Korean Manga, mind you), some classic literature, some unknown fantasy and finally... religion. Man, my religion minor really paid off... because now I am reading those books. 

Ok! Off we go! 

God of Mars by Edgar Rice Burroughs

So the second book of john carter titled Gods of Mars. So the Therns are a real thing, but they don't make an appearance until the second book. In fact, all of the space traveling explanations happened with this book that happened in the movie, so I guess they combined parts of the second book with the first book for the movie. To be honest, I think the second book would have made a far better movie. However, there is a lot more racism in this book.

So the book largely deals with religion and the falsity of religion. The valley of Issus is where the red and green men of Barsoom go when they are ready to die and go to heaven. What they don't realize and what John Carter stumbles into after 10 long years, is that it's a place where people get eaten alive. Plant men were introduced and the Therns, who enslave people that come to the valley of Issus. If one comes back from the valley of Issus, however, they are killed immediately so it doesn't get out that the valley is not what it's cracked up to be.

John Carter stumbles into that and meets up with Tharks Tharkus who wants to go down the valley of Issus. They run into Plant men,Therns and white apes. There is a lot of fighting with Tharks and John all excited to be together again. However, all John carter wants to do is see his boo.

However, the first born race comes into town. They are a race of black men who are vicious and also steal people for slaves and for their living goddess Issus. Oh yes, you read that right. Race of black violent men who can't control themselves around women. They are pirates too. So Burroughs naturally writes more racist shit. Oh, and they are cannibals and have gladiator fights. They also enslave people and at one point, Burroughs notes that the entire race, the women especially, don't do anything. The slaves do it.

Burroughs describes more of the planet this time and admits that though John was there for 5 years, he saw little of the planet. There is also a middle earth sort of deal like Dinotopia. Which is cool, i guess. There is lots of fighting and men who devote their lives to John Carter or women that wanna bang John Carter. John sheepishly admits many times he isn't a ladies man, but he so is.

There is a tragic end to the story, and I had to read the first chapter of the next book in order to confirm that De'Ajah Thoris didn't die. I didn't think Burroughs would do such a thing, considering John gets mostly everything he wants. However, there was a finality to the last few sentences, so I quickly scanned the chapter. Phew, Burroughs didn't kill her off.

Overall, Burroughs is a racist. I'm going to keep plugging through the rest of the books, because gosh darn it, I bought them!

Parables of the Sower by Octavia E. Butler

Oh Octavia Butler, you're magnificent. This is another book from BAE, so there isn't a story to how I acquired it. Parables of the Sower is the first book Butler ever published. I thought I read somewhere that it was a book she began as a child and then finished it when she was order for publication. However, I cannot find the source now, so it's possible I made it all up.

The reason I mention that is that the story of Parable of the Sower is an adult version of those action stories you read as a kid, like Hatchet or My Side of the Mountain, where the teenager or adolescent is stranded and they have to survive on their own with only a survival backpack and their gumption. The main character go on a journey to get them out of the wilderness or they make a plan to survive in a new, wild place. I, myself, would often daydream about what it would be like to survive on my own.

SIDESTORY: I actually ran away once to try that. I think my mother and I got into a fight, and I packed my stuff and left. I made it out into the woods by my house (they actually filmed Tuck Everlasting, btw, so it's beautiful), but then I was afraid and hungry, so I went home. I got into a lot of trouble. I also think I stopped my day dreams of living out in the woods after that day.

Ok, back to the review. Parable of the Sower is an adult version of the adventure story littered with sex, drugs and though I wish I could say rock n' roll, violence. Butler is a mastermind at revealing a potential future that we're staring in the face of. Parable of the Sower is set in 2026, which might be a long way off when she wrote the book in 1993, but it's only 11 years down the line. I think that, more than anything, scared me the most. It also scares me because of how Butler writes the characters surrounding the main character. They are in denial about the catastrophic changes in their lives and they hope it will get better, or ignore the increasing amount of struggle outside of their quiet four walls.

The main character's name is Lauren. She is a the daughter of a preacher and she lives in a "gated" community with 10 or so other families. She has a step-mother and 3 younger brothers. The book is set up as a journal first person. Everything that happens, occurs after the fact when Lauren writes it down.

Her "gated" community was self-imposed by the families that live in the cul-de-sac. They put up the walls to keep the homeless, the druggies and the criminals from entering their homes. It's dangerous to go outside of the walls. It is incredibly hard to get a job, and her father, a professor at the university, goes outside of the wall a few times a week to teach. Many people are killed when they go outside.

Lauren, in the first half of the book, describes her daily life, and her complex relationships with her father, step-mother, brothers and the other members of the microsociety she lives with. The threat of the outside world is always a factor, and when a company goes into a similar city to provide jobs with room and board, many families are interested in taking it, no matter the risks and the cost of having a job.

This book is complex and it's so well written that it's hard to unpack the book while not giving much away. A gentle buzz in the background of the book that slowly makes it way front and center at the end of the book is Lauren's Earthseed. It's a new type of religion, though Lauren maintains that it is a way of life. Christianity, her father's religion, doesn't serve her needs and the changing needs of the world in which they live in. Christianity, she feels, does not give her a chance to survive in a violent world.

One final thing about the book worth mentioning (though the entire book is worth mentioning) is Lauren's hyperempathy. Caused by a drug called, I think, Pyro? Pyco? which contributes to much of the decay of American society, Lauren's mother was addicted to it, which gave Lauren something called, "hyperempathy." She feels other's pain or other's pleasure, to mixed results. It becomes evident to why she hides in as the book continues, but it makes for some interesting choices when it comes to people she meets and who she discloses his information too.

Ms. Butler is heads and shoulders above most other science fiction and fantasy I read now and days. Its a shame that she wasn't as famous (maybe she didn't want to be) or that none of her books were ever turned into movies (maybe she didn't want them to be). I'm currently reading Kindred in class, and most of the students are into the novel. Those that aren't into the book aren't much into anything, however. I can't wait to read Parable of the Talent, the second and final book in this series. Apparently she planned to write a 3rd novel, called Parables of the Trickster, but writer's block prevented her from finishing. Her writings are on display at Huntington Library (Indiana).

New post series: Which is better?

I came up with this idea when I chose to read the "John Carter of Mars" series when I remembered that I watched the movie with BAE a year or two ago when they were trying to make Tim Riggins a big star.

Poor Tim Riggins. So cute and endearing but... maybe not so much a huge action star. If it was a better everything, I would have supported him as Gambit. But alas, that movie was such a disappointment...

ANYWAY.

Right now, I am posting 2 reviews a week on books. I am an avid reader, but eventually, I think the posts are going to catch up with me. To even out my reviews, I am going to write reviews on books that have been made into movies (and there are a lot of them out there). I am also going to answer the question, which is better, the book or the movie?

Some of them will be no brainers, but I suspect that there will be some hot takes!

What movies and/or books should I start with? Comment below!

Princess of Mars by Edger Rice Burroughs

So I originally watched "John Carter of Mars" starring Tim Riggins first, which is the only way I knew to pick up the series at Barnes and Nobles. The first book is titled, "Princess of Mars" and it is the first installment of the series "John Carter of Mars" by E.R.B. Apparently this is part of the pulp fiction movement in the 1960s.

John Carter is a confederate soldier, who after the war, ventured to Arizona to mine for gold. His associate travels back to the town to get supplies, but when John watches him leave, he notices other "spots" in the distance where his partner is traveling too. At first he leaves it be, but his guts propels him to go after his associate. He finds his associate dead and himself surrounded by Apache Indians. He runs away, finds a cave and hides.

Something, like an invisible force, comes over him and he is transported to Mars, or as the Green and Red men of Mars call it, Barsoom. It is a dying planet (mysterious machines provides the atmosphere), and Green men and Red men are all at war with each other.

John discovers that he can jump higher and hit harder due to the gravity on Mars, or, I'm sorry, on Barsoom. The Green men find him in an incubator full of just hatched Green babies, and takes him back to the Tharks.

Carter quickly rises from a prisoner to a chieftain after he demonstrates his prowess to the horde of Green men. He kills a few Green men, and he earns "metal" and titles. However, things abruptly changes when the Tharks shoot down the ships of Helium, and they capture the Princess of Helium, Dejah Thoris.

John Carter falls into, what do my students call it? A thirst trap. Dejah is also thirsty for Mr. Carter.

Ah, after looking up "thirst trap" in urban dictionary, I don't think I used "thirst trap" correctly. Ah well. Let's just say they are both single and ready to mingle. More action, more running around, and finally, every one ends up with their happy ending... until Edger Rice Burroughs realized that he should write more "Of Mars" books and get more money.

The first book in the John Carter of Mars series isn't the worst thing I ever read. One can definitely tell it was written in the 1960s, because there is some racist shit in there (where, you know, as of now, it's just subliminal racism so that white people can't pick up on it). First of all, John Carter is a confederate soldier. I wouldn't be so alarmed by this fact except Burroughs also threw in there that he was a Virginia Gentleman and that when he went to visit his relatives, everyone adored him and the slaves worshipped him. 

Uh, what? He doesn't go that far to say that Carter owned slaves himself, but having slaves worship the guy as an example to show how awesome he is some racist shit.

THEN, when Carter is in the desert, Burroughs proceeds to characterized the Indians as "Braves" and to also revisit how violent they all were. When Carter escapes up the mountain into the cave, the Native Americans followed him. John Carter is held still on the ground by an invisible entity, and when the Natives venture into the cave, something scares them off.

Now, it could have been a huge scary monster and it would be natural for anyone to run away, but... Burroughs described it as some dumb brown person who wasn't brave enough to seek what was in the cave. Some more racist shit.

There is some sexist shit in that book too. There are two prominent women in the book: Sola and Dejah. Dejah is legit naked when John first meets her, except for the metal she is wearing covering her naughty bits. Sola, who grows up in a different way than the rest of the Tharks and is an outcast, is meek and loyal. Dejah and Sola need to be commanded for much of the book, and every time one of them makes a decision that is apart from John, John has to save them.

Finally, John Carter of Mars is the white motherfucking savior of both the Green and Red men of Barsoom. He teaches the Green men new fighting skills, how to tame animals (yes, really) and above all, about friendship (you read that right).

He ends the war between Red and Green men, and he gets the Princess in the end and becomes a Prince. He is highly regarded and in every scenario he is in, he figures a way out and saves the day.

I was bothered by the blatant racism, sexism and white male savior parts of the book. I did buy the entire series (don't worry, for a small price), so I will chug on to read the rest of the novels. I would invent a drinking game with how many racist things Burroughs wedges in there and how many times Carter bestows his superior whiteness over all others, but I'll be stinking drunk every night I read before going to bed.

Stiff by Mary Roach

The cover art for this book are feet tagged. I've seen enough Law and Order to know what that means. Side note, I had a friend in high school whose last name was Roach. Now she's married and has a different last name. 

This book is allllll about dead bodies/cadavers. What we do with them and the history of cadavers. I'm not sure if anyone else does this, but since my job is very rough right now, I have been playing this game more and more lately: Alternative careers to teaching. The idea of a mortician definitely entered my mind. I mean, humans have strong ties to funerals and people will always die. People are always going to need morticians and funeral directors. However, there is a website titled "Onet" for students in high school (and anyone really) that shows the skills, interests and outlooks for jobs. Mortician, apparently, and funeral directors, do not have a bright outlook for jobs in the future. That idea is trashed, not to mention that I'm quite sure biology, and lots of it is involved. I have went down the biological science route twice and ran the other way. I have to keep on dreaming... 

However, I remember reading an article about an ecological funeral and how either the ashes or the coffin transforms into a tree. That would be baller--a cemetery forrest. Tiny plaques with the person's name on it and it's a tree. Way better than the cemeteries we have now. 

So, Stiff.  This books makes you think a lot about death, and dying, and whether your body should be donated to science... and how could families just refuse organ donation. I would like to make an obligatory joke here about how one shouldn't donate my pancreas, but that would make any sense. If you're pancreas doesn't work, you just inject insulin. So even my autoimmune disease doesn't even lend itself to a good organ donation joke. 

Roach discusses how much it makes sense that automobile testers would use cadavers to crash test their cars and even an eye opening chapter on experiments of the religious nature on the Shroud of Turin. Say, whaaa? 

Would I purchase this book to read? Probably not. I found this book in the school book closet and I figured, why the heck not? Initially I thought this book is not in my normal repetoire but I have come to think that I just choose weird books to read. This book is also good to read right before going to bed, because I fought to stay awake while reading this book. Dawn by Octavia Butler however.... 

Roach's research takes her to interesting places and that includes cannibalism and the crucifixion. The cannibalism chapter is not what you think; she doesn't dive into Hannibal Lector wannabes. Crucifixion freaks me out, which I correlate directly to evangelical youth groups that not only harped on the idea that JESUS DIED FOR OUR SINS, but to also DESCRIBE AND WATCH THE HORRIBLENESS THAT IS CRUCIFIXION EVERY CHANCE THEY GOT. There is a scene on Vikings where a character is crucified. They even had a first person shot. Wigged. Me. Out. 

Finally, this book also made me super glad to have 21st century medical care. I would not want to be a person who is sick and goes to a doctor who wants to try new surgeries. Geez, anyone could have been a doctor back then. The thought is scary. However, in my game of "Alternative Careers to Teaching and If I lived in another Time Period," I would tots be a body snatcher. Apparently you get paid the big bucks. 

Current Book Stack

Here is my literal book stack. I referred to a "book stack" in other posts, but I didn't really have one until I started this blog. I knew I purchased a lot of books, but I was placing them all over my house and even started forgetting which books I hadn't read yet! So now, I actually have a book stack on one shelf in my den. 

They aren't in any particular order, though John Carter of Mars is the next series that I will start. Barnes and Noble, though over price, sometimes have gems. John Carter and the HP Lovecraft book further down the stack were series of books I picked up there for $8.00 a piece. $8.00 for 10 books! Say, what?! I got a similar deal quite a few years ago with Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy books. It was a completed series for the same price. Good deal if I say so myself. 

I don't think I will read John Carter straight through. I will probably space them out with other books in between. I mean, it's not guaranteed though. What if I really like the series? I do have a habit of binge reading the same author. 

Have any of you read any of the books pictured above? What are your opinions of them? Have any books or authors that you would like to recommend? Comment below! 

This is Beans, our newest cat. I have been trying to take pictures of the energetic kitten for a few weeks now but he just won't stay still! However, as soon as I put the books down on my dining room table, here comes Beans, ready to pose! What a scumbag! 

Kindred By Octavia E. Butler

Octavia E. Butler was introduced to me by my fiance earlier in the school year. He is also an English teacher, and it was the first book he was teaching to his co-taught 9th grade classes. I read about Octavia E. Butler before but I had a stack of books to get through first before I could go on the exciting adventures with her.

BTW, I will probably always have a stack of books to get through. Now it's a different stack of books with her books intermingled. 

SIDE STORY FIRST. This year was the first year I taught 9th grade English. I am a special educator for high school, and I haven't taught my own classes since student teaching. Desperate to teach and have control over how skills are taught, I agreed to teach English 9. Let's just say it has been a rough year. The second rough year out of the 3 years I've almost taught.. but that's another long winded rant for another time. ANYHOO. At first I wanted to teach Romeo and Juliet, but when my baby 9th graders stated that they read that play in 8th grade (seriously. I don't think I would have passed 8th grade if we read Shakespeare. I think that says more about my maturity as an 8th grader than the intelligence of middle schoolers). So, coupled with the fact that they already read it and my general "fuck it" attitude that came with a rough school year, I decided to teach Kindred. 

But first, I had to actually read Kindred. 

So, I purchased the book off of Amazon (I know. It was infuriating that I couldn't find used books of hers at the book fair. However, I like to think that everyone is so in love with her books that no one wanted to part with them, unlike Anne Rice, whose books are in multiples at the book fair.) 

I finished the book in 2 days. It. Was. Awesome. 

Set in the 1970s, it is about a woman named Dana who suddenly possesses the power to travel back in time. She doesn't know how she acquired this ability and you never find out. Butler doesn't take the time to explain it. She doesn't need too. Dana is a riveting character who finds herself by a body of water where a woman is crying for help. A boy is drowning and she rushes in and saves him. After rescuing the boy, a shot gun is in her face and she is transported back to the present day. 

You come to find out that Dana is only transported when Rufus, the boy that almost drowned in the river, is in life threatening trouble. Rufus is one of Dana's ancestors, but the twist is that while Dana is an African-American, Rufus is a slave owner in the antebellum south. Dana realizes that she is charged with keeping Rufus alive until her ancestor, Hagar is born. 

As a white female, there is an abundance of characters that at least, look like me (which, white privilege.. I guess, yay?) However, there isn't an abundance of well rounded female character that actually has a story arc, is strong but makes mistakes as well. You know, like an actual person. Dana is an actual person and I love Butler for this. 

Normally, I'm into book series because I love to just travel the world that the author created. Kindred is a stand alone book and it does wonderfully as a stand alone book. Butler does a great job of showing the end in sight but makes the reader wonder if Dana will ever survive the ordeal. At the end of this book, I am relieved that there won't be others, simply because of Dana's and her husband, Kevin's, suffering. Kindred's setting is horrifying. I don't want to explore it further. 

Kindred is a great read. It's historical science fiction that zeroes in on the African American experience. YES. PLEASE.